


Speak No Ed

by Ellie_Pensky



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Cursing(?), Eddy knows grammer, Gay, M/M, Major Character Injury, Multi, Polyamory, Rolf may be a murderer, This is my first work, Yeah that's it, ed is still somehow a third wheel, idk how to add chapters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:49:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellie_Pensky/pseuds/Ellie_Pensky
Summary: Ed and his sleepy self makes a group chat for the entire Cul-de-sac. (Taken place about a year after BPS)
Relationships: Ed & Edd "Double D" & Eddy, Ed/Edd "Double D", Edd "Double D"/Eddy, Eddy/Ed
Kudos: 9





	1. Sleepy Ed makes a move

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [An EDucated Group Chat](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20742458) by [FantaFox333](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantaFox333/pseuds/FantaFox333). 
  * Inspired by [The Cul-De-Sac Group Chat!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21686146) by [TakaIsPog](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TakaIsPog/pseuds/TakaIsPog). 



> I got this Idea from FantaFox333 and TRANS_KIYOTAKA_RIGHTS. 
> 
> Sorry if it's a bit too similar to theirs, I just really wanted to try the Idea!
> 
> also, I made this during school... so yeah

**Thursday, 3:09 A.M.**

* **Ed_with_Gravy** Has added **Eddy, Edd, Sarah, Rolf, Jimmy, Jonny, Kevin** and **Nazz** to the Group Chat*

**Ed_with_Gravy:** Hey guys! I made agroup chat for the cul-de-sac!

**Kevin:** How the hell did you even get my number

* **Ed_with_Gravy** changed **Eddy** 's name to **NoNeck** *

**NoNeck:** I swear, one incident and all the sudden I'm just outed like that

**Nazz:** Dude, this is pretty dope tho

**Edd:** Ed, Why on Earth did you decide to invite every person in the Cul-de-sac?

**NoNeck:** Hell I'm pretty sure Jimmy doesn't even have a phone

* **Ed_with_Gravy** changed **Edd** 's name to **gAy** *

**gAy:** Okay, That I won't argue over.

**Sarah:** Ed it's 3 am in the morning 

**Ed_with_Gravy:** I was bored baby sister

* **NoNeck** has changed many people's names*

**MeatChugger:** WHY MUST ROLF CREATE SUCH A FOUL REPUTATION

**Overrated:** DUDE LMFAOOOOOOO

**gAy:** Heavens, Eddy! Mind your manners!

**NoNeck:** Oops, forgot one lol

* **NoNeck** changed **gAy** 's name to **Ant_fuccer** *

**l0ner:** bruh why TF y'all texting so much, Planks trying to sleep

**l0ner:** OMFG WHO CHANGED MY NAME?????

**Shovel_cumm:** JONNY LSHACHSKTWBS

**Ant_fuccer:** Okay everyone, State yourselves!

**Shovel_cumm:** I'm Kevin

**l0ner:** bruh I thought you were **@Overrated**

**l0ner:** BTW it's jonny

**MeatChugger:** Shall Rolf attempt to label himself?

**l0ner:** HOLY SHIT LMAOOO

**Overrated:** Nah dude, i'm nazz 

**Shovel_cumm:** I'M ROLLING NAZ NOOOOO

**Ant_fuccer:** I think that's enough talking for one night. Goodnight All!

**NoNeck:** yeah good Idea for making this Ed

**Ed_with_Gravy:** :3


	2. A Mysterious Disappearance...

**Friday, 1:45 P.M.**

**NoNeck:** Double d holy fuck, answer your damn phone

**An Avocado:** Edd's in history rn

**Overrated:** holy crap, Jimmy is that you

**NoNeck:** How the Hell do you know Double d's schedule?

**An Avocado:** AND YOU DON'T???

**Shovel_cumm:** wow some friend you are Eddy

**NoNeck:** at least I don't spend every given moment torturing people around me

**l0ner:** Can y'all shut up I'm learning about reverse psychology

**NoNeck:** Where were you like, three years ago?

**Ed_with_Gravy:** I remeber when we prancked the cankers lol

**Overrated:** Wait, that actually happened

**NoNeck:** Dee better answer answer his damn phone or I swear to Cthulu...

**LoudAssHoe:** JIMMY!!! YOUR NAME I JUST SAW IT

**An Avocado:** SARAH NOOOOOO

**Shovel_cumm:** What the hell is happening

**Ed_with_Gravy:** AN AVOCADO.....

**Overrated:** ......THANKSSSSS

**Shovel_cumm:** Nazz aren't you supposed to be in math rn?

* **Overrated** is offline*

**NoNeck:** KEVIN WHY YOU GOTTA OUT HER LIKE THAT!?!11

**LoudAssHoe:** D-DID SHE DIE???!!!

**An Avocado:** Press F

**An Avocado:** f

**Ed_with_Gravy:** f

**Shovel_cumm:** f

* **Overrated** is back online*

**LoudAssHoe** : WHAT HAPPENED LOOOOL

**Friday, 2:20 P.M.**

**Shovel_cumm:** Nazz where r u?

**NoNeck:** I didn't see her in civics last hour 

**Shovel_cumm:** Bruh, she has math 6th hour

**NoNeck:** Who the hell have I been talking to for the past three months?

**Shovel_cumm:** Bitch, I KNOW you aint talking about no nazz

**NoNeck:** Get used to it, I am

* **Shovel_cumm** has changed  **NoNeck** 's name to  **LyinAssHoe** *

**LyinAssHoe:** FIGHT MEEEEEEE

**Overrated:** What're y'all fightin about?

**LoudAssHoe:** Nazz what the frick happened? 

**Overrated:** Lmaoo Mr. raggon took my phone last hour and sent me to the office

**Overrated:** Why are eddy and sarah's names so similar? 

* **Overrated** changed  **LoudAssHoe** 's name to  **migraine** *

**Ant_fuccer:** An improvement, I'm sure.

**migraine:** DOUBLE D HOW COULD YOUUUUU

**LyinAssHoe:** D, Why weren't you answering your phone earlier?

**Ant_fuccer:** I had loads of work to do. As do all of the other people in this group chat do.

**Shovel_cumm:** ye no, I was wondering if nazz died or not 

**Ant_fuccer:** I must say, I'm very proud of your use of exceptional grammer, Eddy!

* **LyinAssHoe** changed  **Ant_fuccer** 's name to  **GapAss** *

**GapAss:** Love you too, Eddy. 


	3. Three bros, chillin Inna Hot Tub....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed: Ed_with_Gravy  
> Edd: GapAss  
> Eddy: LyinAssHoe  
> Nazz: Overrated  
> Sarah: migraine  
> Jimmy: An Avocado  
> Kevin: Shove_cumm  
> Rolf: MeatChugger  
> Jonny: l0ner

**Saturday, 5:06 P.M.**

**Overrated** : I'm bored y'all wanna like, do something?

**LyinAssHoe:** Can't, sorry.

* **LyinAssHoe** sent cuddly_bois.jpeg*

**LyinAssHoe:** Ed and Dee are here

**Overrated:** YALL ARE DATING???

**LyinAssHoe:** guess so 

**migraine:** where at nazz?

**migraine:** HOLY CRAP EDDY WHAT THE HELLL

**Shovel_cumm:** What did I just walk into

**MeatChugger:** Pain in the rump Ed boys are courting at Eddy's dwelling!

**Overrated:** ew you still talk like that even in text

**Shovel_cumm:** yo Rolf, are you like texting on a potatoe or something? 

**MeatChugger:** Rolf prefers not to say...

**An Avocado:** HE. IS. TEXTING. ON. A. BEET. 

**Overrated:** WHAT??? HOW DO YOU KNOW LMAOOO

**An Avocado:** I JUST SAW HIS LAST TWEET. IT SAID 'SENT FROM AMAZON BEET'

**Overrated:** What the aCTual HELL ROLF WHAT IS THAT??

**MeatChugger:** How dare the Floofy-Haired-One disgrace the Son Of A Shepherd!

**Overrated:** NO, TELL ME WHAT THAT IS

**Shovel_cumm:** I think I'm more concerned at the fact he has a twitter smh

**GapAss:** Could you guys keep it down? I can hear Nazz's chuckling from Eddy's house.

**Overrated:** I'm really not laughing that hard

**An Avocado:** BITCH I THINK THAT'S MEE LMAOOO

**LyinAssHoe:** DEAAAAAAAAD


	4. Kevin is Angry boy

**Saturday, 3:42 A.M.**

**Shovel_cumm:** who knocked my trashcan over with a sponge?

**LyinAssHoe:** Damn, your trashcan be light as hell

**Shovel_cumm:** no, I'm serious my mom finna beat my ass

**migraine:** I- for knocking a trashcan over??

**Shovel_cumm:** No, for being acquaintances with someone who would do that

**LyinAssHoe:** Stop being so dramatic witcho shovel head

**GapAss:** Eddy, manners please.

**LyinAssHoe:** Sorry babe

**Overrated:** Yall are too cute ^-^

**Shovel_cumm:** WHO FUCKING THREW ONE AT MY HEAD???? 

**migraine:** What?

**Shovel_cumm:** OH HELL NAH THEY FINNA CATCH THESE HANDSSSS

**An Avocado:** Kevin why do I see you punching the air?

**migraine:** some petty ass threw a sponge at his dumb face

**Shovel_cumm:** WHO FUCKING THREW IT

**LyinAssHoe:** damn, hadn't seen him this made since we threw that arm chair across his window 

**Overrated:** shit, that was you?

**migraine:** Nazz, you weren't even there when they did it 

**migraine:** your useless ass just came in last second to feel like you did something

**LyinAssHoe:** Then Ed's dumbass ate the cake Jonny gave us

**migraine:** How did you get out of that?

**GapAss:** Ed eventually found his gosh forbidden strength and freed us

**LyinAssHoe:** I wish he were awake rn

**Shovel_cumm:** Listen, I know y'all are reminiscing or whatever but I NEED TO FIND THE ASS HOKE WHO DID THAT TO ME

**Ed_with_Gravy:** This man really said 'ass hoke' I'm done

**Shovel_cumm:** ED I KNOW IT WAS YOUUU

**Ed_with_Gravy:** And a happy evening to you too kev

**LyinAssHoe:** What r u talking about Kevin?

**Shovel_cumm:** I KNOW ED THREW THAT WET SPONGE ON MY DAMN PROPERTY

**LyinAssHoe:** I'm finna get some popcorn ngl

**Ed_with_Gravy:** bruh I was asleep until yer ass woke me up :((

**migraine:** I can hear him from my house

**LyinAssHoe:** Ed's at my house

**Shovel_cumm:** I AM GOING TO BEAT YOUR ASS MONOBROW

* **Ed_with_Gravy** sent  Lil'_cinnamon_rolls *

**Ed_with_Gravy:** I have an alibyy

**migraine:** Kevin??

**Saturday, 4:06 A.M.**

**MeatChugger:** Kevin boy has fallen into a deep slumber

**Overrated:** What's that supposed to mean?

**MeatChugger:** Rolf has shoved the fibered bar into kevin boy's gay ass throat and has forbidden his breathing

**LyinAssHoe:** WHAT!?

**GapAss:** Heavens, Rolf! 

**migraine:** IS HE DEAD?????

**MeatChugger:** Not quite...

**MeatChugger:** Rolf has taken care of his selfish whining

**Saturday, 7:39 A.M.**

**l0ner:** yo, why tf is Kevin tied up in my shed?


End file.
